8:25 p.m. - Thursday, Nov. 04, 2004
Apollo Died Today
Into our lives they come, often as kittens and puppies with big eyes and hesitating glances, hoping we will love them. We did. We loved each pet. Each one a member in many ways of the family.
Today, Apollo died. Apollo was a good dog. He lived behind the children's house and I spoke to him like every other member of the family when I would arrive. Sometimes he would bark, often he would just look at me as though he recognized me faintly. I liked him. He reminded me of Rocky though different.
I truly believe pets have spirits. A spirit is that part that expands and goes out from us, like the feeling of love we have for another, we expand, become more. Pets allow us to expand by petting them, looking into their eyes, accepting their love.
It's a hard time for me because in receiving the message from Michele my heart went out and tears flooded my eyes. Death is so final. Life is so precious.
Apollo brought life, energy and good things to his little family. He was in many ways a working dog with a watchdog role, just by being present, even if he didn't bark..and he did bark. He most often, even in winter, slept outside and in this way was unlike Rocky who had it much easier. My own thoughts were that if a pet is to be part of a household, he was inside often and when necessary. He was a full member. Perhaps Apollo liked it better this way, I don't know and I don't know how happy he was. He lived longer than Rocky's eight short years, so perhaps in dog life, he did well.
I'm sure Nathan, Kiara, Michele and John miss him this moment terribly and try consciously or unconsciously not to think too deeply about it. Yet, grief must run its course or it is carried in unhealthy ways. Tears must flow or the heart feel heavy, for awhile at least. Even the cat will eventually miss him in her way. Mine, Katrina did and grew thin. I thought I was going to lose her.
My heart and mind are with my family this evening. I love you very much.

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