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Vehemence
It was some years ago now, I was sitting in a group with my adult student and my own two supervisors when my student vehemently insulted me. Thinking I may have not heard she did it again and although I thoroughly took in the entire situation, gave no response. We went on.

Later my supervisors started talking about confrontation and although this area is not listed among my highest strengths, confrontation was not called for here, at least in my opinion. Alone I started to reflect why I reacted this way this time when at other times I would have not.

I think it came down to knowing who I am. The insult didn't hit home. Also, I could see in her eyes that this was not about me. She hardly knew me. It was about her and she was using me as a reflecting mirror. The mystery was yet to be revealed but the hints were in the emotional strength and the insult itself. How were we alike? What was it she disliked so very much? Why did she feel so vulnerable? Why me? Why now? Can I really change her inner image? Should I try?

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